Lost Your Job? Turn Setback into Success in 2025

Updated: 2/5/2025

If You Lost Your Job and Feel Like a Failure You are Not Alone

No one thinks about losing their job or transitioning into a different career, yet the reality of job loss and such an occurrence is very likely. You have a 50% chance of losing your job in a lifetime due to a layoff or being fired, which can greatly impact your sense of identity. Should you be stressed about employment options and how unemployment affects your emotional health? The main objective of this blog is to instill motivation, explore opportunities, and prepare for the likely scenario. While we cannot predict everything, knowing what's coming and having a plan, such as incorporating regular exercise, will reduce your anxiety and improve your mental health. Its fear of the unknown and not knowing how to deal with it breeds destructive automatic thoughts.

What happens when you are laid off or fired

There are likely two scenarios you will face when such a situation occurs, both requiring a path to recovery. The first is uncomfortable, and the second is devastating to the point you feel very anxious and stressed, overwhelmed by grief, perceiving it as a personal failure, and struggling with thoughts like 'I lost my job, and I feel like a failure,' while you don't know what to do with yourself. I have personally experienced both scenarios. The first one feels much better than the second. In order to avoid falling into the pit of the emotional abyss, be proactive, which is the strategy shared toward the end of this article. However, if you are struggling right now, there is no need to worry; there is a way out.

The future is brighter than you perceive

When you have become accustomed to identifying with a particular career path and have been engaged in that path for many years, your identity may be challenged, requiring resilience, and your brain will likely draw an error code when facing an unexpected termination or being laid off. The error code will appear as the following thought process: what can I do? I don't know anything else; I'm doomed! While there might be some truth that there might be a need to learn additional skills, the likelihood that your skills cannot be applied elsewhere is highly unlikely. Take the following steps to get out of the pit of despair.

Step 1: Get out of your head and create a plan

Get out of the head and seek an objective perspective. You will likely need to speak with a friend who can balance both being gentle and real with you. You are dealing with grief and stress and are in a fragile state, so a gentle approach focusing on recovery and resilience while being objective will help you see where you cannot see yourself. If you don't have such a friend, do not worry; you can seek a therapeutic relationship with a professional counselor to support your mental health. This step aims to address feelings such as 'I lost my job and am dealing with job loss, and I feel like a failure,' and help you see you are not trapped by unemployment, focusing on future employment opportunities while supporting your emotional health and building a plan to identify opportunities that align with your identity.

Step 2: Work on your plan

There will be a temptation to return to the old map of thinking and try to figure out what you did wrong and likely focus on many factors outside of your control. The way out of this trap, even in the face of potential failure and stress, is to have a clear goal, motivation, a sense of identity, and a plan. Once you have a clear plan, you must take the next step.

Step 3. Create a schedule

The next step is creating a routine involving structure with the following key ingredients. Consistent bedtime and wake-up time and meal schedule. Incorporate an exercise routine, uninterrupted time allotted to professional development, sending resumes and interviewing, socializing, and doing activities. You enjoy. Convincing your brain so you are not lost involves having a plan and following it; once you accomplish the first two steps, rinse and repeat.

Step 4. Reflect on your progress and adjust accordingly

You will likely experience setbacks and stress. Be ready for recovery! The temptation is to interpret setbacks and failures as a threat to your identity, especially when thoughts like 'I lost my job, and I feel like a failure' arise, but maintaining motivation is crucial to moving forward. Try to be a scientist and see results as results rather than bad results. If you can see your results as results, you can adapt your approach and proceed. If you are stuck in your head, seek guidance from a friend or a professional to help you alter your plan and prioritize your mental and emotional health.

Learn to accept change

While we cannot control external circumstances, you certainly have control over your response and the opportunities that may arise from it. Training your brain to look for the opportunity in each setback is a skill, not a gift. Our default way of thinking, often driven by stress, is holding on to the status quo and refusing to accept change. The old brain is programmed to assess change as dangerous. This process can be observed all around us. From adopting a new policy to creating a new healthy exercise routine, you will find resistance. Resistance is the old brain saying no; it's dangerous or bad for you. No need to think too hard; this process is usually out of our awareness and can be observed by our behavior when we are forced to face change. Training your mind to welcome change as an opportunity for growth as a mindset and following up with routines that will reinforce change will help re-wire the old map from "change is bad" to "change is the opportunity to grow; growth is good."

Pro-actively build your resume with marketable skills

When you learn to welcome change by embracing the belief that change is inevitable, a fact of life, and reframe change as bad as an opportunity for growth, you have accomplished 50% of the battle. At this point, you have welcomed change by engaging in growth-oriented behavior, building your resume, and expanding your skills. You have learned to be proactive. Instead of fearing change, you have embraced it and have been welcoming change, thus preparing yourself to face the inevitable. The difference is that you have now diversified your portfolio of skills, becoming more marketable and or possibly working on a hobby or side hustle that is starting to become an income stream.

We are here for you

Remember, your identity is not defined by employment status, unemployment, or job loss. You are much more than you might perceive, especially during this vulnerable time. Follow these four steps, and it's a matter of time until you find yourself in a position that resonates with you, demonstrating resilience and experiencing a new, better version of yourself. If you need help, it's not a sign of weakness. We specialize in dealing with grief, loss, feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, addiction, and trauma. Our offices serve VA, DC, and MD. Schedule a free consultation today.

We are here for you

Remember, your identity is not your job. You are much more than you might perceive, especially during this vulnerable time. Follow these four steps, and it's a matter of time until you find yourself in a position that resonates with you and you experience a new, better version of yourself. If you need help, it's not a sign of weakness. We specialize in dealing with loss, feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, addiction, and trauma. Our offices serve VA, DC, and MD. Schedule a free consultation today.

Book a Free Consult