Why is it so difficult to change your habits?
Ever feel like you can never get rid of a certain habit? Here are some tips on how to get started and how long it may take to change and formulate new habits.
By: Eunice Ahn
How Do You Start to Change Your Habits?
First, you have to understand how habits form. They first form through "cue." It's the idea that a trigger tells your brain to automatically engage in a certain behavior. The second step is "routine." Routine is the behavior or action that one actually takes. The last step is "reward." Reward is the step that helps your brain determine if this certain habit is worth remembering. There are, however, two different types of rewards. There is immediate and latent rewards. Immediate rewards are self-explanatory as it is any reward that is automatically given after the action, making it easier to pick up and condition. Latent/delayed rewards are typically a little harder to commit to and maintain as they are rewards that come after some time or effort. For example, an immediate reward would be checking your phone and talking to friends, while a delayed reward may be the results you see after exercising more and eating more healthy.
Let's use a quick example:
Instead of going to sleep early every day, you keep watching YouTube videos, scrolling through social media, and talking to friends. You know you are going to wake up tired and be cranky the next day because you aren't sleeping enough, but you're having too much fun. Soon enough, you're dozing off at work or in class. You've decided enough is enough and want to implement a new routine. It is crucial that the routine accounts for more sleep time but you still get the same amount of happiness you would get from watching YouTube, scrolling through social media, or talking to friends late at night.
A suggestion could be setting multiple alarms/reminders throughout the night to remind you to sleep. The point is trying to replace the negative process (getting distracted before sleep) with a more healthy process (more aware of the time because of timely reminders). By changing the routine, you still keep the reward of watching videos, scrolling through social media, or talking with friends but you also set boundaries. Not only that, but you also increase your chances of reward by adding in more sleep, being less tired, and having a more clear mind the next day.
Cue: a reminder goes off at 11:30pm saying you should get off your phone and start getting ready for bed
Routine: you turn off your phone, brush your teeth, wash your face, and do your skincare routine
Reward: you get a solid 8 hours of sleep and have more energy the next day
How Long Does it Take to Change a Habit?
Some researchers believe that a person can break a habit in 21 days. However, others claim it may take much longer than this. This is because typically one replaces an old habit with a new one. It is said that anywhere from 59 to 70 days is realistic for breaking and forming a new habit. However, every person is different so it may take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, according to research. This may also differ depending if it is a physical habit or a habit of thought.
Why are Habits so Hard to Break?
It is familiar (executed many times), requires less time and effort (good at them because of repetition), feels safe (tried, trusted, and comfortable), and are often times tied up with beliefs of who we are (what others may believe about you).
Some Tips to Help You Change a Habit
Journal! Jot down which habits you want to change
<< When did the habit roughly begin? Has the habit changed over time (describe the changes)? When do you typically engage in the behavior (specific location, anything particular happening around you)? Does the behavior affect others? Are you happy or unhappy by the results?
<< What is the habit? What is the cue? What is the routine? What is the reward? Use this same template to jot down an improved habit
REPETITION! Just telling yourself that there is a reward will not help much. Keep on repeating so that the brain starts to crave the reward (endorphins, sense of accomplishment) and only then will it become more automatic.
Anticipate pitfalls! Common pitfalls are trying to change everything at once [1], starting with too large of a habit [2], not changing your environment [3]
Solution [1]: try to pick one small thing until you master it and move onto the next
<< What it can typically look like: start off doing great and have lots of willpower, slowly get overwhelmed and revert back to old habits
Solution [2]: make the new habit so easy you can't ignore it
<< What it can typically look like: you find yourself unconsciously increasing the difficulty because you want to achieve fast results. This can lead to failure so try to regularly develop the habit.
<< Again, make the goal small and easy then build. The action of doing the habit is more important than how much you do!
<< Example: do three weeks of 5 minute exercises and build the strong foundation. Once the habit is strongly ingrained, slowly increase to 30 minutes, an hour, or even two.
Solution [3]: create an environment that promotes accountability and healthy lifestyle
<< What it can typically look like: You come home and see the TV as a cue to sit down and relax. Habits are a part of your physical and social environment!
<< Keep a record of your results and make it visible (post-it notes, your phone background). Have others keep you accountable.
IT IS OKAY TO SLIP UP! You are only human and it may take more than one trial in order to change the habit. But if you don't give up and keep at it, you can make the change! It may be a really long and difficult journey but time and patience is key. If this blog was helpful for you, share this blog with someone who may find this helpful. Sign up for more free weekly tips, tools, and strategies as well. We also encourage you to schedule a free consultation by clicking the link below if you need additional support throughout this journey of self-improvement.
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